What My Brother Doesn't Know
by this-heart
Summary: Drabble series revolving around the Volturi pairing Jane/Aro. Mostly, but not entirely, Jane's POV. Chapter 31: Jack and Jill. "Jack fell down and broke his crown and never forgave Jill, even though she went tumbling after."
1. Stronger

**Have I gone completely nuts? I've now got three longfics going, on three separate accounts, for three different fandoms! **

**Meh, it's worth it.**

**Enjoy. I know I will.**

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**CHAPTER ONE: Stronger**

**Jane's POV**

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He was different.

Very naïve, really, I can't lie and say he wasn't a very, very juvenile person sometimes. He was.

But he could act however he wanted, and we still feared him. Respected him, trusted him. We trusted him with our very minds.

He was powerful, serious, when he had to be. When it came to the safety and secrecy of others, and himself, there was no joking. And he was able to destroy even what he loved for his goals.

I suppose that's why I fell in love with him.

Aro, he was the strongest of us all.

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**They will all be really short, by the way. Like, really short.**

**(Edit, 5/1/09: They aren't short past chapter... I don't know, five-ish? I can't remember. But lately I only do drabbles when I really can't think of anything better.****)**

**(Also edit, 5/1/09: Is it wierd to love your own story title? Because I seriously love mine. Teehee, it's a play on the book 'What My Mother Doesn't Know' by Sonya Sones, if you haven't read it. And _it's_ _funny because it works for both Jane and Aro. _Be happy for me.)**

**I'LL ALSO NEED SUGGESTIONS. I'm going to run out of ideas at some point- make requests! All Jane/Aro, but the subject matter can be whatever you want, I guess…?**

**So review please! **


	2. Promise

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**CHAPTER 2: Promise**

**Jane's POV**

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"Jane, you are completely missing the point," Alec snapped.

"What is it then?" I snapped back angrily.

He sighed sharply. "I don't care that you're with Aro. It doesn't matter who you're with! You still broke your promise."

"What promise?" I asked, no idea what he meant.

"We promised each other that we'd never bother ourselves with love or anything. It would make us too… separate."

I bit my lip. He was right. "You want me to apologize? Alec…" I sighed. "I'm not sorry."

He glared icily at me. "I know you're not."

Darkness.

My senses returned. He was gone.

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**Short, very. I know. It's annoying for you maybe, but it makes it easier for me to write. Sometimes. It's so hard to get your point across in just 100 words. 0_o **

**Any comments? You know what to do.**


	3. You Wish

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**CHAPTER 3: You Wish**

**Jane's POV**

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He had fallen in love with his singer, of all the people. Humans, singers especially, were just food. You ate them, you didn't get attached, for God's sake. Poor moron.

And didn't the girl realize how stupid she was? The situation was the same on both sides of the relationship: why on earth would you fall in love with someone who could destroy you?

He smirked at me. _You wish you knew._

But, then, I had no way to know.

It would be years before I discovered the one you loved was the only one who could really destroy you.

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**I'm sick and it was about ten degrees outside today so I'm exhausted, emo and annoyed with the world. Except this. I dunno, I kind of liked this one. Thanks for all the reviews! But don't stop there ^^.**


	4. Pretty

**This is the length of two drabbles. I couldn't possibly fit it into just 100 words. So deal with it, this was all I could think of.**

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**CHAPTER 4: Pretty**

**Heidi's POV (third-person subjective)**

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Jane usually tried to make Heidi hurry up when they went shopping at stores Jane couldn't buy things from. But she was surprisingly quiet that day, just staring at herself in the full-length mirror, not saying anything.

"You okay?" Heidi asked. The girl was acting so strange lately, so unlike her usual apathetic self.

Jane faced her. "Am I… flat?" she asked uncertainly.

"Flat?" Heidi repeated.

She nodded. "Like…" she made an uncomfortable gesture at her chest. "flat."

Jane was totally androgynous. "No," Heidi lied.

"Because I feel really…" the girl looked at Heidi in the mirror, instead of in the eye. "I dunno. Un-pretty?"

"…Oh. Well, you're very pretty," Heidi offered.

Jane looked over her shoulder. "Thank you."

"You can tell me anything."

"Good. Because when I say un-pretty, I mean, I don't know…" Jane scratched the back of her head. "Unsexy?"

She blinked. "Oh. Well, um…" That was more than a little weird. "Good thing you don't need to worry about that, right?" Heidi wrung her hands uncomfortably. What on earth was Jane talking about? She was just a little girl.

The little girl had a very dark look in her eyes. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, and she nodded. "Good thing."

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**I've had this idea for a really long time. Wouldn't it be great if Jane showed- gasp- weakness? Yes, there's my problem. I force them to be human, so maybe it's a little OOC. ****Poor Jane, she tries. That would completely suck to be stuck in a thirteen-year-old's body with an adult mind… Anyway, that's what inspired this. Let the tomatoes be thrown! **

**By that I mean, review, dammit. And thanks for the ones I've gotten. :)**


	5. Sorry

**Ahh, I had to (:**

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**CHAPTER 5: Sorry**

**Jane's POV, third-person subjective**

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They were just giving her trouble, at the moment.

They would have been dead already, but there were too many potential witnesses. If she hurt them, they would scream and attention would be drawn to the three men and Jane standing in the alley.

He would be there soon, she thought, if she spoke loud enough. And he did appear, stepping protectively in front of her and scaring the others away with a flash of wicked teeth and very few words.

"I'm sorry," Aro murmured, holding her close. She could tell he was enraged, and relieved.

She could have handled them easily. But she didn't want him to let go, so she said nothing.

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**These aren't all going to be exactly 100 words. It's too hard, seriously, it would be much easier if they weren't subjective of one specific pairing**** or whatever. But I wasn't thinking that way at the time, so here we are. This is 114 words. If you have a problem with that then forget you. **

**I'm thinking of changing the title, actually, but I have no idea what to change it to. I just know I have too many fics with a title starting with T. Any ideas? Also give me some ideas for drabbles... please?**


	6. Human

**You: Creepy.**

**Me: I know right? Isn't creepy fun?**

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**CHAPTER 6: Human**

**Jane's POV, second-person **

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You are breathing much too loudly.

It's perfectly quiet in your room, though it wasn't a few minutes ago, and still. But not completely because you're trying to catch your breath, and it's annoying for you to listen to because it's really just you.

You don't take offense at all, as he's lying peacefully next to you and not freaking out like you seem to be. He's much better composed because he's done this before, but you haven't so you're pretty astounded, to say the very least.

He grabs your hand and you know that it's not just to touch you, but to hear your thoughts. _He knew every single thing you were thinking, the entire time you were… _As a human, a deep crimson would have colored your face at that thought. But you're not, and it doesn't.

Still, you've never felt more human than you do at that very moment.

"Jane," he very nearly laughs, and you turn your head to face him. He's smiling, and that makes you smile. "Of all things, don't be embarrassed."

You laugh weakly, but happily, and he pulls you closer. "I love you," he murmurs.

And you twist around to kiss his lips and tell Aro the very same thing.

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**Meh… I posted two in one day, so I get a free day to muse. Creepy, maybe. I find it really cute in a weird way… but whatever. It's what you think that matters, why don't you click that cute little button and tell me? ;)**


	7. Infectious

**I gave myself a break and ended up starting something else… That's my excuse. I can't wait for weekends/spring break/summer, which point I'll have way more time to devote to fanfiction. But for now I have math and science and Spanish to be hyper-studying for. Sorry!**

**BUT ON A LIGHTER NOTE! Novacaineorchids dedicated chapter 15 of her ah-mazing fic Red Eyed Beauty to me, which just made my day :) Thank you! You rock! Everyone read it. NOW. **

**This chapter is kind of revolving around how Jane would feel during those days if she was just kind of dead, and being all emo and angsty... yeah. Like she's kind of... not caring what's going on. **

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**CHAPTER 7: Infectious**

**Jane's POV, dialogue only**

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"Jane?"

Oh, Alec, please, just go away. "Come in."

"You've been in here for days."

I know. "Do you need something?"

"I need to know what's going on."

You don't need to know. No one needs to know. "I'm sure I have no idea what you mean."

"Yes, you do. You haven't come out of your room for almost a week, have you even moved since I was last in here?"

How many days ago was that? I might not have… "Of course I have."

"Aren't you thirsty?"

I'm supposed to be, aren't I? "I guess so."

"Well, come on then. Heidi will be back soon."

I am supposed to be. "No, thank you."

"Damn it, Jane, what's wrong with you?"

Everything. "Nothing is wrong with me, Alec, and I'm offended that you think so."

"Well don't be, I can tell there's something wrong."

Can you? "Can you."

"I'm your twin."

No kidding. "So that's why I look exactly like you."

"Why do you say that?"

Get out, Alec. "I don't know what you mean."

"Why do you say you look like me, as opposed to me looking like you?"

Oh, shut up, will you? "Because you're not the one who looks like a girl, I'm the one who looks like a boy."

"Since when do you care?"

Since lately, damn it, now get out. "Please leave, Alec. I'm really not in the mood."

"What's your problem?"

Nobody else cares, so why do you? "Nothing anyone cares about."

"You're my sister. I love you. Of course I care."

That's great. I love you too. Wish someone specific loved me and really, if they did, I would want to hug you right now, because I appreciate your concern. But right now I just want you to get out of my room. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

God damn it, you're seriously asking for it. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You already are."

That sure sucks for you, but I really don't plan on doing too much about that. "I mean in more than one way."

"I can't believe you."

The feeling's mutual. "Okay."

"Okay?!"

GET OUT OF MY ROOM. "Leave. I can play this game all day."

"I really can't believe you! You're acting like some kind of… Like some kind of…"

Wait for it. "Spit it out."

"Like some kind of _Marcus."_

That's all? I was under the impression that 'Marcus' would be an understatement. "I'll let him know you were using him as an example for me being unbelievable."

"No you won't, you're going to stay here and mope."

Is that what you think I'm doing? I've cried more hours in this room than any of you have spent thinking of why. "Look who's catching on."

"I'm done with you. Fine, you win, I give up."

I really am sorry. "Finally."

"Goodbye, Jane."

I would want so badly to talk to someone, namely you, if it wouldn't be cause for catastrophe. "Close the door on your way out."

SLAM.

Why must misery be so infectious?

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**Not a happy piece! 0_o These are very angsty little things… But this was so much fun to write. Review!**


	8. Full of Grace

**I'm back. I missed this ^.^ I've had this idea in my head for a while. If there were some kind of timeline for these, this would happen before the two of them were together. Two of them=Jane and Aro. Where the hell have **_**you **_**been?**

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**Chapter 8: Full of Grace**

**Aro's POV**

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Most of them were there because they felt obligated to be. Jane was perhaps one of the only ones who had a reason.

A hundred years before, it would have been different, and her motives may not have stood out quite so much. However, in this age, humans could not seem to find an hour out of the week to be there in church.

My Jane stood quietly in the back like a ghost, never was she seen by anyone but the one she was there for. I knew she liked to go on days it was cloudy, never on sunny ones, but after several weeks of sun, she seemed determined, choosing to go at a time when only early morning rays would catch her as she escaped.

I must admit she surprised me. How many others would risk their status, or risk angering me or my brothers, for this?

She did not notice me as she listened to the quiet, collective voices of the mass patrons. I placed a hand on her shoulder. _Ave Maria, piena de grazia… _Jane turned, her thoughts interrupted, and frowned guiltily. Guiltily, and sadly. "Master," she murmured. It was much too quiet for anyone to hear. "I'm sorry; I know it's too sunny today."

I nodded briskly to hide my own guilt, and took her hand. "It is."

"Have you come _alone?" _Her tone was surprised.

I had. It was stupid and irresponsible to put myself in danger, but I didn't need a babysitter. And it was only so many paces before I reached the church, and Jane. I did not feel unsafe.

"I did come alone. I don't intend to leave alone."

"I'll go." She turned away, taking her hand with her. The small defiant gesture told me I must have upset her more than she was letting on- the apathetic girl did not show much emotion. I watched as she dipped two fingers into the small font of water by the door, quickly crossed herself and exited, not looking back once.

"…e nell'ora della nostra morte…" The collective chant was unnoticed by me as I followed her. Jane walked at a brisk human pace down the narrow street, beneath the quickly fading early morning stars. It was easy to see she was unhappy.

"Jane," I called. She stopped for a moment, and finally turned. Her face was totally blank, wiped of all emotion, her usual expression. How I detested it.

She blinked in response, or perhaps it was just muscle memory and she was still ignoring me. I couldn't help but think that with Caius she would have been disciplined for such disrespect. It made me wonder why she was being that way, was it because she knew she could get away with it? Why did I let her?

"You really want to be there?" Without looking as I stared back at the church, I knew she was next to me.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because," she answered. It came out like a question.

I looked down at the child, my very brightest gem, unchanged by hundreds of years serving my brothers and me. She was not just an ordinary child, but one with her entire childhood stolen from her, living in a world of adults and immortality. If any one of us had anything to miss about being human, it was she. _What else are you going to take from her? _

Sighing, I handed her the cloak she had left behind, which I had taken with me. "Before the sun rises, I want you back. Do you understand?"

Jane looked from the church to the cloak to my face eagerly, as if waiting for me to withdraw my offer. "Are you sure?"

"Go."

She beamed. "Thank you so much, master." And she was gone, my hands empty, and I was alone.

_Anything to make you happy. _

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**Buy Girl Scout cookies. Frozen Thin Mints are the world's greatest comfort food for when you're on your period. TMI. I know. Suck it up and buy cookies, you'll thank me later. **

**Can anyone guess the prayer in Italian? It's not hard, really, unless you're unreligious, then you wouldn't know… Like 99 percent of Italians are Catholic, okay? So Jane probably would have been.**

**Review.**


	9. Devilish

**I don't think this would ever happen, I just want to make that clear, but it's non-canon, so none of it would happen anyway… (tears up) (gets over it)**

**NEW TITLE! Hehe, get it? It works for both of them! Bow to the awesome! And read my fifty sentence fic, please? **

**This one's really short and random. But the idea just came to me, so. You'll read it no matter what the hell I write, whether you like it's another matter…**

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**Chapter 9: Devilish**

**Aro's POV, third-person subjective**

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For many moments he is unable to concentrate on anything but the ecstasy of feeding, barely noticing the chaos and gore and the screaming, there is so much screaming. He finally does look up, and his eyes follow no one specific in the crowd of mass humanity until they fall upon Jane.

She drops the lifeless body to the stone floor, and seems satisfied by the way her eyes gleam. Her eyes flash around until they find him staring at her, even while he is feeding. Jane grins devilishly just for him, and licks her lips clean of the blood coating them. She probably hadn't meant for the look to be at all sensual. But Aro was free to take it that way.

He draws in a sharp gasp and coughs hard, separating from his human as blood mixes with the air he breathes. The artery he had opened pumps blood from the human's slowing heart, splattering him with gore as he coughs violently into his sleeve; he has to press a hand over the bite while the others stare.

In a moment, though, he's regained his composure and looks around. The others have gone back to feeding, their interest lost.

"Aro, what did you do?" Caius is looking at him with and expression of confusion and mild disgust, and Aro looks down to observe his blood-splattered clothes and hands. It drips off his fingers and onto the ground.

"I should go clean this off, yes?" he murmurs back to him, smiling only to ease his brother's confusion and suspicion. As he leaves, Jane once again catches his eye, giggling at his appearance with the same diabolical grin before quickly turning away.

Aro sighs. After thinking of her that way, even for a brief moment, a _very_ cold shower was in order anyway.

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**Reviews are love! Or hate, if you want to go down that road.**


	10. Jealousy

**TEN CHAPTERS! WOOOO! We're on our way, baby! (hugs conveniently placed person)**

**In my fifty word challenge thing, the sentence for _jealousy_ was really well-liked apparently. So I made it into a chapter. **

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**Chapter 10: Jealousy**

**Jane's POV, second-person (which is really, really fun!)**

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You're not usually the jealous type. But they're torturing you.

No matter how hard you press your hands to your ears, you can still hear them in your head. And to think you always thought of yourself as the master of torture! This is unbearable. Just thinking about it makes you ache, not that you're trying to think about it.

You know you have no right at all to be envious. She is wearing his ring, not you. She is his lover, not you. They're married. What they do in their bedroom is entirely their own business and entirely their right, it's your fault you had to pass by and hear anything.

But even if it is your fault, that doesn't make you feel any less filthy, any less sick, or any less pathetic. You're being a baby and you know it, so you have to pick yourself up off the floor, brush yourself off, and try to pull yourself together. But the command doesn't seem to make its way to your limbs. So you have to just lie there on your side with your hands pressed firmly to your ears and your eyes squeezed shut, hoping it will go away. The pleasured moans that aren't yours, the fervent growls you didn't cause. _Maybe they'll fade at some point if you just block them out..._ All you want is to make him happy, and be happy yourself.

_Sulpicia makes him happy already._

You feel even sicker.

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**I don't know how I feel about this. The expectations were probably high, so tell me honestly how it was. It made me feel really weird writing, I'll tell you that. So emo. 0_o**

**You need some comic relief. I'll tell you a joke I heard last night! I laughed for five minutes straight.**

**What's black and white and red all over?**

**Wait for it…**

**_A NUN IN A BLENDER!_**

**Review!**


	11. Denial

**It's late, and I have to be in school early tomorrow, but it's kinda worth it.**

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**Chapter 11: Denial**

**Alec's POV **

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It's disgusting.

Revolting, how am I expected to ever look at my sister or my master in the same way again?

Jane is my sister and I love her, and I want her to be happy, but honestly, Aro? Is she really so masochistic and desperate?

_No offense, _I think grudgingly, in case the next time our master hears my thoughts he should catch that detail. He should be expecting it, though! What kind of sick pervert takes advantage of a confused little girl in that way?

That is my sister's problem. She is just confused, and she isn't taking any time to think. She's trying to grow up without me. How could she love him? How could he love her?

_They cannot. It is that simple, _I assure myself.

It is not real.

Jane will come to her senses.

And, even though she has found what she thinks is love while I have not, I am absolutely not jealous.

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**I don't really like this much, but I had to write something. Maybe I'm in denial that I'm running out of ideas already :p**

**Review!**


	12. Burn

**Ah, the Fanfiction blackout is over. **

**I wrote something that WASN'T Jaro! GASP. Believe it. It's about Caius. (big smiley) I should have it up soon.**

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**Chapter 12: Burn**

**Aro's POV**

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They tied you there, and you burned.

Your brother's and your own screams carved at your ears the way the fire carved at your bodies. Death was as inevitable as it was welcome, to you and to your village. Your parents. Everyone you cared about. And then, suddenly you weren't the only ones screaming. It was a sound of mass chaos, fear, disorganization in their final moments. You were grabbed, yanked, from your bindings and the fire and heat was gone, but the agony was not. Darkness tugged at your consciousness and blurred anything the tears hadn't; still, you tried so hard to focus.

Was I an angel? Was I God? You didn't know. I told you to stay awake, you were safe, and you tried. Everything was melting together like the watercolors of a dripping painting, and you were not at all far from death, but you had complete trust in me. Somehow you knew the place I was taking you _(Heaven? Hell? Do I care?)_ would be a safe one.

You were very nearly asleep, never to wake up, when for the second time in one night, you burned.

--

You earned a place as guards.

It was a position of highest honor, to skip light gray cloaks in favor of the near-black reserved for greatest weapons. You and your brother learned discipline, though you both loved to experiment with your new abilities. It would be exciting for a child, especially ones like you. You were as mature as any of my guard, the most brilliant in my collection of jewels. But you wanted revenge, revenge you never got to execute.

I see the expression on Alec's face as he numbs a victim about to die. I hear his thoughts later, the quiet ghost of hatred for an innocent, really a stand-in for another. _You didn't stop them from hurting us. Why should I extend such mercy to you?_

You were always the more sadistic one, not caring to hide your pleasure at being the offense. _Do you feel how it burns, mother? Do you, father?_

--

Loyalty was one very, very convenient quality you possessed.

It was something I would be able to take advantage of, though not any advantage past having an extremely loyal member of my guard. You were not unintelligent enough to be used, besides being too valuable. You became the favorite, something you liked after having no one in the world but your brother.

Sadism was one as well, but the first time you saw how we worked, you were shocked. It wasn't just the fire, the flames flying everywhere _(back away, back away!)_, that mystified you so. It was that we left no survivors. Bitterest enemies to dearest friends, the rules were bent for no one. It was something you could appreciate and relate to.

The ghost of horror behind your features smoothed back and you moved closer, like any of my obedient, faithful guard. _I will never let you burn._

_--_

After so long being perfect, a flaw was discovered.

_That human dares to live?_ You were never so indignant in your existence as you were watching the Swan girl remain impervious to your power. It would not be such an important thing to anyone but you, finding someone immune to your most important quality. _And the Cullen loves her, though not only does she smell delicious but she is also infuriatingly untouchable._

You were both furious and horrified at once. She was not beautiful. She was not powerful. And she fell in love with something deadly, so she clearly wasn't intelligent. But she was immune to you. And the Cullen, and he loved her. The certainty and devotion radiating from the two made you want to hurt someone, namely her. Badly. Isabella Swan had put Jane Volturi to shame, and you secretly burned with it.

She had something you wanted. And perhaps immunity wasn't entirely it.

_--_

_Are you my king? Do you wish me to call you master, like your sycophantic guard?_

You ignored the sycophantic comment (knowing that while insulting, it was rather true), instead waiting for me to reprimand him somehow...

_Peace, Garrett._

...and being indignant when I failed to. You wore Caius's handprint for a week the last time you spoke so disrespectfully. My patience had you awestruck.

And then, losing the battle that never did occur. You were amazed, aside from the fury we all felt to certain degrees.

_Somebody is going to _burn_ for this._ You were avoided by most on the way back to Volterra.

You felt amazed and very, very foolish. You had no idea how someone could be so patient, or so good at handling humiliation. Usually when you were bested, you ended up further humiliating yourself by not accepting defeat.

And you had no idea how one person could find so many ways to fascinate you.

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Your brother held your left hand in precaution. The screaming children were annoying on All Hallow's Eve, and you both knew it. But you could walk about in dark cloaks and no one would suspect a thing, even after dark. You had learned to enjoy the bits of freedom whenever they opportunites presented themselves. Killing one of the children would have been a bit obvious.

_Aro wants us back by three, but we could probably get away with a few extra hours. You do get away with a lot._

You did get away with a lot of things others didn't, though you knew some rules could not be bent. You were very lucky, and you knew that too. Some people would never meet their hero, let alone have such a relationship with them. But as of late, you didn't know if you were satisfied with it. To be favorited was one thing. To be loved was another thing entirely. But what did you know about love, or anything so adult?

Your brother to your left side and no one to your right, you felt very alone all of a sudden.

_Jane?_

You glanced at Alec, who was looking at you expectantly, and sighed. _You know, I'm really not in the mood tonight, Alec. I'm sorry. You go on ahead, okay?_ His expression is hurt, and you wonder if you might as well have burned him for how unfair you were being.

_--_

_And you wonder why he doesn't love you._

But you didn't wonder. You were positive I couldn't.

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**I don't know how I feel about this, I just wanted to get it up. Review anyway, though. :)**


	13. Proud

**I admit it. I was listening to that wierd "Girl Fight" song when I wrote this, then I realized what I was listening to and put pn 'Misery Business' instead. Both fit sort of XD**

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**Chapter 13: Proud**

**Jane's POV**

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"Jane."

I turn around, and there she is at the end of the hallway. I nod in acknowledgement. Alec is not as calm, and freezes beside me. "Mistress Sulpicia," I address her.

She strides over. I wait patiently there, I am not afraid of her. "You knew this day would come, Alec. Some room?" I ask him calmly. He scurries a few feet away.

Her expression is sure, but not smug at all. She has an excellent poker face and looks down at me, standing a mere three feet away. I stare into her face patiently.

We wait. Nobody breathes. Everyone knows why she is there. _Is it my fault he chose me? _I think, but never intend to say.

"How can you do it?" she asks after a few moments.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask politely. Too politely.

"How can you stand there and look me in the eye, child?"

"I'm rather short, I know, Sulpicia," I begin, dropping the title. "But I'm perfectly capable of looking you in the eye."

"You know damn well that that isn't what I mean," she hisses.

I nod once, crossing my arms. Of course I do. "So, Aro told you?"

She nods, her lips pressed into a tight line, her arms crossed as well.

"I told Alec just recently," I continue. Eyeing her, I say, "But I take it you're not so accepting on the matter."

"Naturally." The word slithers from her lips coated with malice. Alec begins to say something, maybe something as an excuse to get me away, but I shush him.

"And what exactly would you like me to do?" I say cooly.

"I want you to remember your place, child," she answers hotly.

"Where would that be?"

"You are his guard, not his concubine," she says, her head high. "Likewise, he is your master, not your... your anything else."

He happens to be my everything, but I don't point that out, or let her know that the concubine comment stings. Instead I say, "You're certainly not being the mature one in this situation. I think that makes me the adult here, yes?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Is he yours because you saw him first?" I ask. She glares. "Quite frankly, Sulpicia, if you were pleasing to him he would not have accepted me, a mere... child, as you put it."

She begins to say something, when we hear footsteps come from the corridor perpendicular this one. "What's going on?" I don't need to look to imagine the expressions of surprise on Heidi's and Demitri's faces as they take in the scene. Alec holds up one hand to warn them against coming closer. "What's going on?" Demitri repeats quietly.

"What makes you a woman if I'm such a child?" I continue, unwilling to be silenced just because of them. "We're very evenly matched mentally on a normal basis, so what is it? Is it because you're tall? Because your voice has broken? Or because you happen to wear a brassiere with underwire?" I ask bravely. I was in no mood to be formal anymore.

"You don't even wear one," she snaps.

If I were feeling honest, I would say she was right. If I were feeling mature, I would say it's none of her business. But if she is allowed to be immature and still be a woman, so am I. "You're right, I don't. But it does make it easier to _undress_ quickly," I say with a tiny, mischeivous grin. Two jaws fall open behind me and I remember that Demitri and Heidi still don't know exactly what's going on.

Though it doesn't hurt, the sound echoes off the walls. Heidi gasps. Alec growls. My cheek stings with the force of her strike, which was admittably strong.

I've been slapped by someone like her before. (Caius is, on a good day, completely intolerant of the most innocent of back talk.) The one thing I have never done is slapped them back.

It wasn't fair of me, and it definitely wasn't at all mature of me. I was practically begging for it. But my temper takes about a second to flare before I swiftly strike her across the face.

All three of them gasp. Sulpicia's eyes go from furious to murderous. "You little slut, don't you dare--"

"That is _enough_." The silence following Aro's voice is excruciating. I hadn't even heard him coming, and suddenly he was there in the space between Sulpicia and I. He pulls me away a bit and steps precisely between us, Switzerland to our warring sides. We are silent and brooding and both ashamed of ourselves while being furious with each other, and he must be pretty furious with us as well.

"Since I did not see who commenced what... and quite frankly do not care," he says, glaring at the hands we had both thrust out for him to touch and _see that I'm right, and see that she's wrong, _"You can both not bother with explanations. I am very disappointed in you both."

We stare at our feet. My arm falls limply to my side.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," he continues. "that I must address these things. I thought I was dealing with two much more mature people. If either of you were not pleasing," he gives us each a look, "I would never have been with that person. Likewise, if either of you was a child I would not have been.

"You are not children." His voice is icy. "I should not have to treat you as such. I am not going to tell either of you to leave the other alone or tell either of you to go to your room for a time-out. But I want you both to know I am very disappointed in your immature, childish behavior." He leaves us with that, and it stings worse than any slap Sulpicia could have given me.

"I suppose you're proud of yourself," she says finally, quietly, but not quite as angry. Sorrowful, almost.

I sigh. "Sulpicia," I say, "I'm not proud. I did nothing to be proud of." Then I hold my head slightly higher. "But I did nothing to be sorry for, either."

She closes her eyes, and her lips once again press into a tight line. Alec and Heidi and Demitri are gone, I can tell. "I see," she says, turns around and walks away.

All of a sudden, though Aro is angry with me, I feel powerful. Devastatingly powerful. I've destroyed someone's life without even trying.

It's not a good kind of power.

She called me his concubine, she called me a slut, and she slapped me. It feels like a kick in the stomach.

She's right.

**--**

**Facebook is awesome. We planned an event for about twenty people from our grade called Tag Day and we gathered at the park and just played tag and explored the trails all day. It was awesome XD Try it!**

**But review first!**


	14. Technically

**Inspired by (I believe it was number 6?) one of my fifty-sentences prompts.**

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**Chapter 14: Technically**

**Jane's POV**

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_He loves me._

A red petal floats in the humid spring breeze.

_He loves me not._

A second.

_He loves me._

A satisfying snap as the petals detatch from the stem.

_He loves me not._

She doesn't even look at those petals.

_He loves me._

She wonders idly if anyone is watching her drop all these bits out the window. She wonders. She does not care.

_He loves me not._

She wills herself not to feel at all excited that it's the second-to-last one.

_He loves me._

The final petal takes longer to fall, missing the breeze. Then it catches and swirls away, carried by the air. All evidence she ever wasted her time with a silly child's game is gone, save for the mutilated stems in the alley and the few petals that were blown into a nearby spiderweb. Of course it isn't an omen.

They were the he-loves-me-not petals, anyway.

(So she tells herself. She can't even figure out if it's a good or bad thing.)

She tried not to cheat, after all, what was the point in cheating against herself? Why try to win at a game that didn't mean anything?

She is going to drive herself mad with all those stupid metaphors. But it is his fault. It isn't her fault that he inspires crazy, impossible dreams and thinking in poetry, that's just what he was, pure magic and light and beauty.

Ah, yes. She is going mad.

Instead of dwelling on this, she pulls another flower out, tapping the water off the stem (which would be dropped very soon) before starting the stupid time-wasting game again. Might as well be hanged for a goat as a cow.

She tried not to cheat, and she didn't, technically.

The flowers with an even number of petals just happened to prove undesireable, and were left in the vase.

**--**

**...I spent ten minutes on this, 'kay? I just wanted to get something up. -.- **


	15. Dakota Fanning chapter!

**(sometime in January) **

**Friend: How pissed would you be if Dakota Fanning got the part of Jane?  
****Me: Augh, no! They can't do that! Dakota Fanning?! Impossible! No!**

**(sometime in February)**

**Friend: Jodelle Ferland might be Jane.  
****Me: -.- (GOES TEAM DAKOTA)**

**(sometime in March)**

**Me: DAKOTA FANNING IS JANE! YES!  
****Friend: But didn't you just say...? Ah, whatever.**

**(Written in honor of Dakota Fanning's EPIC WIN with landing the role of Jane! Huzzah!)**

**So there's no pairing here. In fact, _this chapter has nothing to do with anything._ It's just sort of... written for fun. Completely random. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the song, it's from the movie Coraline, which Dakota Fanning was also in. (Ah, so she DOES have a system here!) The song doesn't have much to do with anything either, it's just added for creepiness and Dakota Fanning-ness.**

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**Chapter 15: Nothing**

**Camera POV!**

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"Oh, my twitchy witchy girl, I think you are so nice..."

Jane has a box of Barbies, or what were at one point Barbie dolls. They aren't completely intact anymore.

A few are, though. She dangles face up, her upper torso hanging halfway off the bed she has no use for. She sings softly to herself, inspecting the doll in her hand.

"...I give you bowls of porridge and I give you bowls of ice..."

_Squeak._

"...cream."

The Barbie was effortlessly twisted in half.

"I give you lots of kisses..."

Jane takes a moment to observe both separated halves of the doll before letting the bottom half clatter to the floor.

"...I give you lots of hugs..."

She holds the body in her hand, appreciating the clearly unattainable body, the platinum-blonde hair and the fact that the head is soft and empty.

"...but I never give you sandwiches with bugs..."

_Snap._

"...in."

The head remains in her hand as the torso it was yanked from falls.

She hums quietly to herself, smiling, and squeezes it in her fist. When it joins the rest of its body on the carpet, it's squished into a ball of plastic and fake hair.

Jane hears someone walking down the corridor, in her direction. She rolls off the bed and gathers the pieces quickly, dropping them into the box which she shoves under her bed as he enters.

When Alec enters the room, she is lying on her bed, seemingly engrossed in a book called Dante's Inferno.

"What are you doing?" he asks his sister.

Her voice is apathetic, the kind that would never be used singing. Hands that would never waste their time with dolls idly turn the page of the book. "Nothing."

After all, what else is there for a vampire child to do on a warm, sunny day?

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**RaNdOmNeSs. :) **

**Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! ^^ You all rule and do a great job cheering me up, epecially today, the day I realized industrial arts hate me. (My metalshop teacher thinks I'm hopeless. ^^) **

**Review some more, please?**


	16. Growing Up

**Something I probably should have mentioned earlier, since I guess I overestimated how well you guys could mind-read me: These aren't in any particular order. Some of them aren't even really Jaro. Just involving the two and maybe mildly supporting the pairing, but sometimes that's all. ^^ Just clearing that up. **

**Also something I probably should have mentioned earlier: I hate people who flame anonymously. That's a sure sign of Carlisle Syndrome, in which the person is completely spineless. But less compassionate. ^^ No offense to Team Carlisle, of course.**

**This chapter is for when Jane and Alec were still human, so there's not very much of a pairing, just... stuff. It's sort of random, but you'll get it, I think.**

**Firenze = Florence.**

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**Chapter 16: Growing Up**

**Alec's POV**

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"Mimi's betrothed."

My sister's words were so hollow and so out of context from the conversation that I felt genuinely startled.

"Well, isn't she older than you?" I questioned.

"Yes. She's fourteen."

The words hung there awkwardly. I didn't know what to say besides questioning why she was surprised. Jane's eyes were closed against the sun when I sat up and looked beside me.

"So..." I started.

"So Mimi's betrothed."

"Oh."

Mimi was my sister's best friend, aside from myself, and three years our senior. She was a quiet girl, and a bit eccentric for one reason alone: she was capable of looking either of us in the eye.

"Mimi. The only person in the whole world who isn't afraid of us, and she's getting married off to some man in Firenze," she sighed.

"So that's why you're sad?"

"Don't you get it, Alec?" Jane sat up, leaving a small patch of flattened grass where her back had been, a yellow flower still peeking out from behind her long hair. The flower tucked behind her ear was in major contrast to her mood. "It's really just us now."

"I sort of thought it always had been," I admitted. "You had to let her go at some point."

She pursed her lips, and laid back down, not looking at me. "Maybe."

I laid down again as well, letting the sun warm me. It was several minutes before Jane spoke again.

"Three more years, then."

"Three more years until what?"

Jane sat up and moved so that even in my position, I could look her in the eye. "Until I get betrothed."

I tried not to shudder at the thought.

"I'm serious. It will happen. And then what?"

"Maybe no one will want you. You're still really... childlike," I said awkwardly, gesturing with my chin to her body. "And you are a _witch,_ after all."

"Don't say that so loud," she hissed, and her expression was almost hurt. "And some men don't care, some do. I'll still be a girl and that's all that matters to them."

I considered the thought of a man taking my sister away to a far away city like Firenze, where she would be an outcast, a slave to her husband and reputation, nothing but a childbearing machine and housewife. Not unlike what my mother was to my father, or what my own wife would be to me. I looked into my sister's sad, serious eyes and decided it wasn't going to happen.

"You can't," I said softly, sitting up.

"But I will," she answered. "And where will you be then?"

"What?"

"Without me. What are you going to do without me?" she asked bluntly.

I shrugged. "I don't know!"

"Exactly."

"Are you telling me I need other friends?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I'm just saying, we aren't going to be together forever." Jane glanced down at our village, visible from our hill. "It won't always be like this."

"Well, I know that," I protested. "But there must be some way, right? Some way that we don't get separated."

Jane shrugged morbidly. "But even then, what about when we have families? When we die?"

"What about it?" I snapped.

She was quiet for a moment. The breeze from behind us was a chilly one, and carried the scent of spring pollen. "We'll have to grow up. And apart."

I paused. "I wish we didn't."

"Me, too."

"I'll miss you a lot," I admitted.

"Me, too. But we do have three more years."

Then, quieter, I murmured, "Then why are we talking about this now?"

Jane didn't speak for such a long pause that I thought she'd dismissed the question. The breeze tossed her long, mouse-brown hair about her shoulders and her eyes were closed again, against the sun in the west.

"Someday, Alec," she sighed. "You're going to have to let _me_ go, too."

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**Review. :)**


	17. Magnetism

**Have you ever tried to read and flip hamburgers at the same time? If you're sane, you haven't, and your hands probably aren't covered in teeny little grease-burn spots. Good. Stay that way.**

**Jane again. I know. Sorry. And it's emo again. But I'm really cranky right now. (My hands hurt.)**

**If it's any consolation, it started out as fluff. And I like to think of this as... fluffy emo. If that makes an ounce of sense to anyone but me.**

**Song for this chapter was 'My Number One' by Paramore, but I don't know how well it fits, really.**

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**Chapter 17: Magnetism**

**Jane's POV, third-person**

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A dead heart shouldn't feel.

A dead heart shouldn't ache every time she looks at him.

Or thinks about him.

_Which happens to be nonstop._

A dead heart should sit still and silent and cold and exist only to fill space in her chest cavity.

Nothing more.

It should not, in any case, pin her to the ground, even though when she cries pathetically in her room it feels as heavy as lead.

Likewise, when she sees him, it shouldn't make her feel like she has butterflies trapped in her stomach.

And it should never, ever pull her lips into an idiotic puppy-love grin she needs to hide behind a hand nonchalantly.

And of course, a dead heart should never behave like a magnet.

It shouldn't be acting the way it's been, like there's a chain attached to it, yanking her closer to him, maybe even close enough to touch and then he would know. And that would make the ache worse.

She tries not to think that every step closer to him she is, the less her dead heart protests and the more she considers maybe it would be worth it, just to feel his touch again.

No.

A dead heart can't do those things.

_Just like Jane of the Volturi can't show weakness, yes?_

And then he raises an eyebrow at her from his throne across the room, and she realizes she's been staring at him.

_Just like that._

She glances away, shame turning her cheeks a frosty pink, adoration giving her a dizzy feeling, and her very active heart driving her mad.

**--**

**Hooray for typing idly, possibly talking in circles, and not proofreading!**

**It's short. I'm sorry for that, too. You can unleash hellfire on me for it in your review, if you want. Or you can suck it up and accept that I'm sorting through major 'Scream' writer's block and am drugged on Benadryl and am severely pissed with my best friend and am _so indescribably not in the mood._**

**On that note, reviews are vereh much appreciated. ^^**


	18. Empathy

**Sorry for the lack of updates! **

**School has been pretty much the center of my attention lately, in literally every subject. ****(I'm not having a good time in metalshop. Is it my fault if belt sanders scare me? Have you SEEN those things? Or heard them? You can't hear yourself think as you press a little piece of metal to this treadmill-looking thing and watch sparks fly dangerously close to your nervous fingers and then the metal gets really hot all of a sudden and you jerk back and almost bump into another person and just when you're calming down and thinking maybe this isn't so hard a bunch of people start freaking out behind you because they accidentally _set the fucking drill press on fire_ and now you have one more machine to be afraid of.) -.- **

**But anyway.**

**From/for Scream. Angst ahead.**

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**Chapter 18: Empathy**

**Jane again...**

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_How different are they?_

She doesn't want to feel sympathy for the humans, or, heaven forbid, empathy. And she never has before.

She doesn't want to know their names. She doesn't want to know their backstories or what she's taking from them. She shouldn't relate to them as they're cornered and helpless, at her mercy.

They are not relatable. They are barely conscious, they are not life, they are objects and they serve to sustain her.

And it doesn't matter what she kills because she lives and without them she cannot.

Selfish, really, so like him.

_How different are_ they?

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**Sorry this is crap, but review? I think I might do this, write drabbles when I can't think of anything. **

**(I'm writing this a day after I posted this- I just felt obligated to get something up. Sorry it's sort of terrible.)**


	19. Innocence

**I am excited. Not even. Ecstatic. I got to talk to sunni-sideup from deviantART the other day, which was awesome and exciting enough, but then she even linked to this fic in a Jaro piece she did (which was beautiful and squee-ful), calling it "the most insanely awesome series of Jane/Aro drabbles in the entire world". That is such a huge compliment, especially from her, and even considering the fact that mine is the ONLY Jaro drabble series in the world. ;P But anyway, I'm gleeful. Since I think she might be reading this, THANK YOU AND YOU ARE AWESOME.**

**Idea was hatched while I was dancing in the rain. You are only young once, guys. Next time you get the chance to run around barefoot in the rain, take it. If you're too old your neighbors look out their windows and see you and assume you're high. **

**Aro finally gets his turn!**

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**Chapter 19: Innocence**

**Aro's POV, second-person**

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She is innocence.

She is fascinating and unseemingly promising.

She is aimless and seems not to notice the way her hair is sticking to her face and arms as she walks. She doesn't look at her feet, though after trudging through the puddles they are shiny pale and must be cold, nor does she look around at the villagers, or the way they avert their eyes and draw the smallest children close as she passes.

Children of five years should have much smaller attention spans. She has eyes only for the sky.

The sky is unremarkable, smoky clouds thinly covering blue in the East and pink in the West, but she seems fascinated. Her eyes stay locked on the heavens, toward a god whom she doesn't know has forsaken her.

So utterly engrossed is she that she walks right past you without so much as a glance. Her heart steadily pumps lavender-scented life through her veins and you find it eerily interesting just to watch her _exist._

So you do.

You can also watch the others and their reaction to her. She is a little girl. She is a gem.

To them, she is a demon.

It's infuriating.

How could anyone look at her, or her twin for that matter, with the kind of fear the villagers do?

How could they, especially when the children are so ignorant to their hatred?

She hums quietly, perhaps only talking to herself.

Until she is old enough to become your guard, you must protect her when you can. You will be watching, though you don't know her name, you don't need to know it yet.

She is just innocence.

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**Review? ^^**


	20. Morphine

**One-fifth of the way though. Is it wierd if I never honestly thought I'd get this far without running out of ideas? ^^**

**Another oneshot-ish-type-thing sort of related to 'Scream' (it wasn't on purpose), with less of a sadistic twist, but certainly obsessive. But I guess if you liked this, or where it was going, that's the fic you should check out. Please. *is not subtle***

**Morphine is a highly addictive drug used to relieve pain. But you knew that.**

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**Chapter 20: Morphine**

**Aro POV**

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Suddenly, more than he craved power or blood or treasure, he craved _her,_ and it unnerved him.

She was forbidden to him. She was a jewel, the most prized of all his guards. She was innocent, in the way a fallen angel is, and what kind of monster would he be to corrupt her more than he had?

It wasn't love. At least, he didn't think so. Emotions, even his own, were indecipherable. He couldn't know if he would even recognize love if he felt it. He could only assume it was some sort of temporary insanity overcoming him, causing him to have ridiculous, sick ideas and fantasies about a child.

She was too young to confuse with the obsession of a man bored in his immortality. He knew of course she wasn't as young as she seemed, she was intelligent and mature beyond her years and had been through too much in those years to ever be a real child. But she couldn't be capable of harboring those feelings (let alone for him), she was much too icy and distant. But that was what made her so very fascinating! She was so like him, they were jealousy and greed, they were hunger for attention and for power, they were tenacity and ambition and sadism and had facades so different from what they were. Apathetic, yet emotional. Emotional, yet blind to the emotion he displayed. They were opposite, but so alike, and never exactly what they seemed.

He didn't know when it was suddenly not enough anymore.

Her fascinating mind, her conflicted personality, her ruby-red eyes and the sweetly sadistic grin that went so well with them, he saw them every day. And suddenly, he was very interested in where he appeared in those thoughts, and how often. And then to know that he was the only one she cared for besides her brother- it shouldn't have been surprising. Children need heroes, and that was all he was to her, admirable.

But it still made him curious.

Suddenly it wasn't enough to see his face in her thoughts, he wanted them to be all about him, like his were about her. It wasn't enough to just see that smile, he wanted to cause it, be the only cause of it. He wanted to hear his name on those lips, wanted to cover her porcelain skin with his own, make her happy, be hers and she would be his. Then the mind would be _his_, the soul would be _his_, the web of emotions would be _his_, the laugh that could either terrify a man or drive him crazy would be _his. _And what was power if he couldn't get everything he craved? She was his guard, his desire, his drug, and of all the precious treasures in his posession, he had to be so dependent on the one that he could never, ever really have.

Upon accepting the fact that Jane did not love him and never would, perhaps he would find a way to survive on her smiles and sadism and lavender scent that were not his, or maybe he would destroy her in an attempt to destroy his addiction at the same time. But it would be a futile attempt.

When has Aro ever succeeded in letting go of what he so desperately wants?

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**Mophine sounds darker than heroin, and is equally addictive. So there, SMeyer. **

**This was fun to write, but I don't really know how I feel about it... Review and tell me what you think? ^^**


	21. Good Liar

**As much as I strongly dislike this piece of writing, I'll repost 'Good Liar' here because I did take it down... **

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**Chapter 21: Good Liar**

**Alec POV**

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Alec was bored out of his mind, and he couldn't find his sister anywhere. Nightly rounds were horridly boring and sometimes he and Jane were able to wander the castle aimlessly together, just to feel like they were doing something. It wasn't like anyone was going to attack the Volturi _in their own castle _anyway…

Come to think of it, he never saw Jane on these rounds anymore, though he saw the rest of the Volturi guard in its entirety at least once a night.

None of them had seen Jane those nights, either…

CRACK.

He spun towards the sound, coming from the corridor behind him. The only room in use down that hallway was Jane's room. "Jane?" he called. There was no answer. "Jane, what on earth was that?" Alec walked briskly into her room and discovered his sister and Aro on either sides of the room, both looking mildly frustrated and Jane very disheveled. Jane's bed against the wall, which she hardly ever used for anything, seemed to have broken. It was cracked down the middle and was collapsing in.

"This what broke?" He asked, pointing to the wreckage, knowing it was a dumb question. "What happened?"

"Oh, hello, Alec, it's nothing," Jane sighed.

"No, really, what happened?"

She exhaled, frustrated. "Okay. So I was…" she picked up a book from her table _(had that been in the same spot since last week?)_, "…reading, on my bed, and then it just," she made a falling motion with her hands, "collapsed."

His eyes wandered to their master.

"And I was passing by and heard it as well," he said in explanation.

"Oh." Jane, whom he was looking at, smiled angelically. "But how did it break?" he asked suspiciously. He trusted and believed his sister, but…

"Huh? Alec, I just told you."

"I know you did, but you always read weird, like this," he made a motion with his finger horizontally across her bed, because she did this strange thing where she read with her legs and body at a 90 degree angle against the wall, "and it's cracked down the middle."

Jane shrugged. "I don't know. The bed's old, it was bound to break somehow at some point."

"And it just… exploded randomly?"

"It didn't explode."

"Why aren't you doing rounds?"

She blinked.

"I excused her," Aro answered. Jane bit her lip and Aro's tone made it sound like it was the only thing he was going to say on the matter.

Well, Jane always was a kiss-up. He believed that.

"Okay…" he nodded. "Well, uh, we'll get that fixed at some point." They all nodded exaggeratedly the way one will when the conversation got awkward. "Well…"

"So we'll see you later?" Aro came up and put an assured, fatherly hand on Alec's shoulder. Alec nodded. "Okay then." And that was Alec's cue to leave.

"Bye, Jane, Aro."

What's got them so wound up? He wondered as he continued his way down the hall, looking back.

--

After Aro closed her door, Jane sighed exasperatedly and ran her fingers through her short hair. "Well, that was inconvenient."

Aro chuckled.

"He onto us?"

"Not at all," he assured her, and wrapped an arm around her slender waist. She laughed and grinned rather seductively up at him.

"Good."

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**Sigh. Review this time, you story alert people. There are freaking SIXTEEN of you, and two of you reviewed last chapter. Not to mention all of the author alert people. Likewise, don't leave useless reviews. If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything. **

**I don't like ending on this note. Really, I don't, but it had to be said... o.0**


	22. Strings

**Because I've had the idea for _far too long._ I feel like it's sort of all over the place, because it's about a bunch of ways ties relate to the Volturi, not just the ones Chelsea screws with. **

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**Chapter 22: Strings**

**Third-person**

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They were like puppets.

Marionettes- puppets animated with strings.

_(Manipulated.)_

The Volturi guard were much too disciplined to display any trace of the humans they once were. Their faces showed no hint of personality or self, their actions exhibited no conscience or regret.

The result of centuries of discipline and manipulation. All ties to humanity or sense of remorse had been destroyed. Humans were objects. Vampires were equally unable to make their own decisions or protect their own existence. They needed the Volturi to survive, and everyone knew so.

Of course, they were unable to let go of their feelings as much as their leaders would have liked.

_(Completely.)_

Emotion was difficult for him to read, it got in the way of power, it could tear the strongest of men to pieces as easily as any of his soldiers.

So he made sure the guard was kept distant enough from each other, from humanity. That way emotion would be an insignificant factor and never get in his way again, yes?

_(No.)_

She was emotional. Emotional and resentful and hard to predict, and if she weren't so useful she would be more of a problem than anything else. Her emotions were different somehow- they controlled her moods, her temper- but she was so loyal and obedient, they never did cause him a problem.

They were fascinating, her emotions. Like a knot of strings, tangled, confusing, and difficult to decipher, but that made them so interesting.

He just couldn't get enough of them.

It helped him understand emotion better, gave him insight into the minds he was constantly peeking into- including hers. Her sadistic thoughts fascinated him.

Soon he was wrapped around her finger.

It was ironic. In trying to be detatched, he'd ended up addicted to the mind most confusing to him, and the emotional little puppet of his had him on a string. It was suicide.

_(A noose.)_

She giggles and watches him swing.

**--**

**Ah, metaphors, metaphors. I didn't proofread, sorry. Mistakes are my fault.**


	23. Disguise

**'Disguise' is a prompt word I got from SulpiciaDoesntApprove. And since I can never do things the easy way and use the prompt as what it is (a noun- for example, describing a façade), I'm using it as a basic idea and disguises don't have much to do with any of these.**

**So I went from 'disguise' to a drabble where I just never directly say who is speaking. And let me tell you, it is FUN. It gives you the sense that the lights are out or something. Anyway, sometimes I write dialogue before anything else and build the chapter around it, so these either a) never went anywhere or b) seemed cute all their own.**

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**Chapter 23: Disguise**

**No POV**

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"I know you could never love me..."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because it would be wrong?"

"It is wrong."

"Do you mean _would_ be?"

"No."

--

"Are you _laughing?_ Stop laughing."

"Stop thinking those ridiculous things. You were doing fine."

"I'm sorry... I had no idea what I was doing."

"Don't be sorry, I would assume everyone's first kiss is like that, Jane..."

"Was yours?"

"I don't remember mine, but you did perfectly and I would love you even if you didn't, so stop worrying."

--

"Are you happy?"

"Of course, why?"

"Power makes you happy. Your kingdom."

"Of course, Jane... where is this going?"

"Do I make you happy?"

"Always."

"Enough?"

"Excuse me?"

"If you lost all those other things. Would I be enough?"

"I won't lose them."

"That's not a fair answer."

"It's not a fair _question."_

--

"What are you doing?"

"I was going to read..."

"Oh. I suppose I'll leave you alone, then..."

"You just can't take a _hint,_ can you? Give me your hand."

"_Oh_."

"You are _not_ leaving."

--

"I told him I was reading. Again."

"He trusts you."

"I hate lying to him, even when he's being annoying..."

"I'm sorry it has to be this way, Jane."

"I know. Me too. But... I feel like it's worth it."

**--**

**SulpiciaDoesntApprove just posted her 23rd chapter, and I couldn't just let her get ahead of me, could I? ;P **

**Reviews and prompt words please?**


	24. Questions

**I'm going to use this dialogue from chapter 23, because... I liked it.**

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**Chapter 24: Questions**

**Neutral POV**

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"Are you happy?"

The question was random and nonchalant.

"Of course, why?" he asked. He had been caught by surprise, because he wasn't reading her mind.

"Power makes you happy. Your kingdom," she went on. She sat on his desk, swinging her dangling legs childishly.

He sat in his chair, patiently humoring her. "Of course, Jane... where is this going?"

Her grin was impish. "Do I make you happy?"

"Always."

"Enough?"

"Excuse me?"

"If you lost all those other things. Would I be enough?" Her expression lost its mischievous quality, and was now calm and serious. But instead of looking him in the eye, she studied the stitches in her shirt.

"I won't lose them," he answered surely.

She glanced back at him. "That's not a fair answer," she protested.

"It's not a fair _question."_ His tone was so icy she didn't speak for several moments, and he regretted sounding so harsh. "What are you thinking?" he finally asked. Perhaps she would appreciate his asking her instead of touching her to read her thoughts.

She had looked away again. "I'm thinking that I know it wasn't a fair question. And I think I know the answer, but I don't want to."

Her words were as brutally honest as her thoughts would have been, and he both liked and disliked that.

"You do know I love you, right?"

"Yes." She slid off the desk so she was standing just in front of him. When he was sitting, he was just at her level.

"More than anything?" He pulled her closer and gazed earnestly into her eyes.

"Yes."

She wasn't completely reassured, he could tell, but that didn't stop her from leaning in the precise moment he did, and kissing him.

_You do know you're going to have to choose someday. _The accusatory thought was there, proof of her rationality and insecurity.

"Do you not trust me, Jane?" he asked her. She pushed him away slightly so she could look at him.

"_That_," she replied, "was not a fair question."

**--**

**Random 2 A.M. randomness.**

**But seriously, guys. I need prompt words. Please?**


	25. Beauty

**Drabble with the prompt 'beauty'. It's short, but I haven't updated in a long time, so. **

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**Chapter 25: Beauty**

**Jane POV, third-person**

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The stubborn determination in her nine-year-old eyes made up for the will her words lacked. Her voice shook with frustration.

"He was real."

Her twin brother, identical but without the determined eyes, shook his head.

"No, he wasn't, Jane."

She scowled. She wasn't used to her brother disagreeing with her in any way.

"He was! I saw him!"

He wasn't used to disagreeing with her either.

"You must have been imagining things. Humans do not sparkle."

"But this one was," she offered weakly.

"If you keep saying such things, our parents will think you're crazy."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do. And you don't want everyone else to find out that you're seeing things, either."

"But I wasn't just seeing things," she insisted. "He was real. And he looked so beautiful, it was just like jewels, how prettily he was shining..." She imagined him again, his long deep black cloak and black hair, skin as white as bone, and the way the sunlight hit him- he didn't throw shadows, he threw sparkles... and then when she stepped closer, outstretched a hand... she blinked and he vanished.

"He wasn't real."

"Yes he--"

"No he wasn't." His tone was so icy she stopped mid-sentence. "They already think we're witches, Jane. We don't need to give them another reason to accuse us, do we?"

She lowered her eyes. Of course, she didn't want to give them another reason to hurt her brother and herself.

"No."

"Right."

"But Alec," she murmured. "He was so real..."

"That's not the _point."_ He held her hand and squeezed it. "The point is I don't want to lose you, ever, especially not because of this imaginary shiny man, okay? Please. Just forget him."

She knew she wouldn't. But she nodded anyway.

**--**

**...Yay foreshadowing.**

**I just realized I rarely give hints to the setting in my drabbles. o.0**


	26. Fireflies

**It appears I only get over three reviews when the chapter is actually half-decent. Okay. You win. I guess that motivates me to put forth some actual effort, even if it is one in the morning and my brain is still stuck on Star Trek. So here's some more useless fluff. ;P**

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**Chapter 26: Fireflies**

**Jane's POV, third-person**

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The loudest sound Jane can hear is her own breathing. With her so close, the crickets don't dare to make a sound. Even insects are more aware of her danger than humans.

Except the fireflies. They dance and glow in the humid summer night and she watches. They are the picture of innocence and tranquility she never got a chance to be, never will be.

_Blink,_

_blink,_

_blink,_

like stars.

She can just barely remember being human, experiencing those humid summer nights and hearing crickets all around and feeling the heat make her skin sticky and finding childish joy in capturing the glowing bugs. The challenge was to be able to spot the ones who were not in those few seconds of illumination. And then the feeling of accomplishment when she had one cupped between her palms... it was unparalleled for a young, naive child.

She has superhuman vision now. She can see the bugs as easily at night as in day, and their evasiveness is nothing to her reflexes.

But the stupid memory (and she knows it is just a memory, not a yearning for what once was, because that would be ridiculous) won't stop resonating,

_Look Alec, I caught it!_

_...caught it!_

_...caught it!_

it just keeps on resonating.

_It's ridiculous anyway_, she thinks, perhaps bitterly. It's about more than just insects. It's deprivation of childhood, innocence and adulthood all in one young girl.

There is one man she could blame for all that, but she cares for him enough to do no more than politely acknowledge him as he comes to stand next to her, quietly observing the night.

Ironically, he's the same man she could thank for saving her life.

"Do you remember catching fireflies when you were a child?" he asks her suddenly. "When you were human?"

She shakes her head no. She's curious what he has to say about it, and why he couldn't just look into her memories for it and chose to have her tell him.

"You and your brother both," Aro doesn't look at her as he speaks, but he doesn't avoid her. "You would catch them all the time, but you never kept them for long. For you, they were more beautiful when left alive and free."

"But not for you," she murmurs before she can stop herself, and instantly regrets it. It was a disrespectful implication; she can only hope he didn't catch that.

He peers at her quizzically. She can't tell what he's thinking at all. "Perhaps," he answers slowly, "in some cases. In others, something is too precious to allow to die, and must be saved."

Of course he caught it. Cryptic as his response was.

And as his footsteps trail away in the dark, she decides all the fireflies in the world couldn't outshine him, the man she would as soon kill as kiss, as soon loathe as love, because he owes her so much and she loves him so much.

The insects carry on long after this revelation,

_blink, _

_blink, _

_blink, _

they carry on blissfully until morning.

**--**

**There, it's now four AM and I'm ready to pass out. Reading it over, that was hardly fluff at all. It was hardly even relevant to itself. o.0**


	27. Everything

**Here I am. I'm ashamed to say this probably didn't get written until the last week I was at CTY, during the time I didn't have to think about classwork. I had nothing else to do because I was under quarantine... for swine flu. Figures. But I'm all better now except for a cough that sounds like ice in a blender. It made for an interesting airplane ride home, anyway. (HI ALEX!! This is the chapter I was telling you about and... I can't believe you read up to here!)**

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**Chapter 27: Everything**

**Jane POV**

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Jane always liked the sun.

She loved the warmth, the smell of warm air and dry grass. Bright, intoxicating sunlight. Summer was best, dry warmth that darkened her skin and lightened her mood.

She doesn't tan anymore.

The sun that was once a beautiful and powerful thing exposed her for what she was truly- no longer a strange, innocent little girl who loved to watch the sun glow radiant on her skin, but a monster, a machine, indestructible and bloodthirsty in every literal and metaphorical sense, whose pale skin turns to glitter in the light.

But sometimes, though she isn't allowed to be outside in the sun anymore, she likes to just reach out and touch the light, feel the warmth, and that's enough. Even when her skin just sparkles, pale and leached of lasting warmth as the moon.

-

Jane has more than enough reasons to hate God.

It's more than that, even. Why should she believe in a god at all? She used to believe when she was young and foolish and human. She barely remembers what that was like. What did God ever do for her? Why should she worship any master who never did anything for her? Be their servant?

She used to be. She used to love Him and they killed her and her brother in His name. She prayed, and He did nothing. She cannot be blamed for no longer worshipping Him, serving Him, trusting Him. She has another to be faithful to.

-

She used to trust her parents.

She used to think they trusted her, too, trusted her enough not to believe those who accused her of witchcraft. She used to trust their judgement. Their actions. That they loved her and her brother and would never let anyone hurt them. If everyone else in the world wanted them to die, her parents would defend them, because that's what parents do for their children and Jane never had any reason to think she was an exception.

Still, they watched her and her brother die slowly, no protest, nothing. They didn't react at all until the group of cloaked angels came to rescue them instead.

That was the day she learned there were very few people _(or forces)_ she could ever really trust for anything. Perhaps it was also the day she grew up.

-

They used fire to kill her.

Fire was always positive before. Much like the sun, but unlike that source of comfort, she could stare at fire as much as she wanted. Destructive but calming, hypnotizing._ How beautiful was it,_ she muses sometimes, _when it was used against me?_ Separating skin and bone, melting childhood, did that make it even better?

It doesn't matter now. Fire is her comrade. Her tool. She is like fire, the real kind, dangerous, destructive and beautiful, though her weapon is an illusion. Without that illusion, perhaps she is no more dangerous than the ash she was nearly reduced to so long ago. Perhaps, as illusion is not real, she is not as dangerous as she thinks herself to be. Perhaps she never was.

-

She has never believed in romantic love.

It was never appealing. The thought of trusting someone so implicitly with her whole self, her mind, her soul... Hadn't she vowed to never again make such a mistake? No good could ever come out of giving so much. You could not trust anyone with your heart, she knew, she'd seen it too many times, when your heart fell to bits like a piece of burning paper. No, she would never let her temperamental heart guide her rational mind.

And she didn't, not at first.

There were very few people in the world she could trust. Alec, who had always been there. Alec, who had always loved her unconditionally. He went without saying.

Aro was different, but alike. He surely did not love her in any way she would need to break her promise to herself _(never let anyone fool you again, Jane, they are liars, they are traitors)_, but he cared for her. She remembers that moment, when the darkness came down like lead, forcing coherency from her thoughts and tears from her eyes, and his eyes showed fury and desperation and concern like she'd never before seen. She thought he was an angel (though she would decide later that no angel of God would care for her so, and much later that no angel of God could amount to such beauty and power). He bit her, and she thought she was dying again, with his face the last thing she would ever see.

She grew stronger. Indestructible. Grew more beautiful, angelic perhaps. She gained a weapon, fire, though she was his weapon. For a long time that was all he controlled her as.

But who was better than he to teach her love? How to trust? He saved her life, he is her hero, her savior, he forgave her for all she ever did and he gave her eternal life, he destroyed the ones who tried to destroy her. When he kisses her, he tastes like summer and sun and fire and passion and love she never believed she deserved.

Every time she falls, he catches her.

He's everything she ever believed in. He's everything she's ever loved.

**--**

**Extra-long chapters happen when the author has two options: play gin rummy for four days straight or write.**

**Review?**


	28. Fairytale

**I listen to songs and read lyrics that I haven't heard the audio to at the same time. In one instance, the audio I hear makes me want to write angst while the lyrics want me to write a fairytale. And making the connection of this angsty fairytale made me_ ridiculously happy and giddy because I was so excited and high on the sugar bomb that is cheesecake. _God, it is almost unbearable how much I love my life.**

**I've been called crazy before. :) This I acknowledge. I also acknowledge the recent series of nonstop Jane angst, but she's fun to write angst about. There's so damn MUCH of it. Jane's good for angsty romance, Aro's good for obsessive romance. Love it. Aro, I'd have to go back to the year 500 B.C. or something for the last time he angsted and Jane wasn't THERE or RELEVANT or ALIVE. But nearly ALL of Jane's angst comes from Aro, be it directly or indirectly. It's perfect.**

**Little separating sentences help prove that Jane has all these qualities of the standard fairytale heroine, but of course she's got tons of angst and mild insanity to go along with them.**

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**Chapter 28: Fairytale**

**Jane POV (again)**

**--**

_She's beautiful._

What a pretty girl Jane is. She'll never grow into a beautiful woman, though. Jane would have been a woman eventually, if she hadn't been frozen in the transition. It's so hard for her sometimes, she's not used to being in the middle. She's one or the other. Everything is one or the other, nothing more, nothing less. White or black. Child or woman. Love or hate. Angel or demon. Innocence or experience. She's so naive in this way, really. And when she couldn't be one, when she had to break another promise to herself (add to all the other broken promises, just toss it on the display shelf, add to the collection, you don't need to record it though, she won't forget), she'd just have to do the best she could at being the other. This system of betrayals and disappointments by others and herself turned her into the resentful demon child nobody would love because she's so bitter, she isn't the kind of pretty she needs to be, to be appealing.

He calls her pretty. He calls her beautiful. He calls her his favorite his precious his jewel his love and he might mean it, he might, but he surely doesn't in the way he makes it seem and that frustrates her, it's like he's mocking her because he's so damn ignorant. But then he kisses her in that platonic way and it's like useless comfort that feels good now but it'll hurt later, she's naive in that way too, it's no more than chocolate while she cries over a bruise, it's no more than morphine, make her sleep, innocent, before she wakes up in more pain than before.

_She's powerful._

Jane is a strong girl. She has powers normal girls don't, speed, strength, immortality, and that makes her special. It gives her something to pretend she lives for. It's her excuse. It makes people accept that she's happy without looking any farther into it. They don't need to, because she won't let them. Why should she trust them? Where has trust gotten her but into trouble? She doesn't want to be the evil demoness she sppears to be, but it comes with the independence and illusion of control she craves. She wants to be self-sufficient, she wants to be strong, make up for the weakness in the past.

Allowing herself to be lied to, tempted, seduced, accepting it, falling headfirst into hopeless, unconditional, intoxicating, paralyzing, dangerous love with the man responsible, to name just a few. But perhaps that weakness was unforgivable. She does rather enjoy this flaw, when she doesn't need to acknowledge it. It gives her someone to live for.

_She lives in a castle._

Jane knows she must be lucky. Most little girls only get to dream of living in a castle. They dream of being a princess, being adored, protected. Perhaps she is adored by a few, and perhaps a few go so far as to treat her like a princess, tell her they would care if she died, but she is not protected by anyone but herself, she knows. Her first and foremost responsibility is to protect Aro (there it is, just thinking his name hurts), protect Marcus and Caius and the empire and not rely on others to protect such relatively stupid things as her own well-being. She can't rely on anyone but herself to protect her if she ever needs to be protected. That's not how it works. She builds her own castle in her mind, invisible fortress just for him and her, where they can let go of all their insecurities and never be judged because they wouldn't judge each other, they're in love. Exactly the same type, exactly the same significance. She wonders what that would be like, wouldn't that be nice, to share a castle with just him? Her private fairytale castle they would share and be together forever, she could share everything with him, expose every insecurity, every flaw, because she trusts him. Give him everything. Share everything. Her body, her bed, everything. Wouldn't that be nice?

You can't rely on anyone else to catch you if you fall, except him, but he's different; He's an idiot like her, he chooses to confuse her by caring and not treating her like an object, the bastard. Lovely bastard she would give her soul, her mind, her heart, her body, her life to and she's ready for that anytime he is, but he's a bastard all the same.

_Her parents are dead._

Jane doesn't miss them. She doesn't miss their betrayal. She doesn't miss their unforgivable silence as she and her twin screamed and nearly died agonizing deaths. She doesn't miss a thing and if anything, she's glad they are gone. Were they still alive they'd be but one more thing weighing her down when she just wants to float away like magic with the one she loves. She loves Alec too, she does, but the way she loves Aro... nothing can compare. Nothing could possibly come close to what she feels. She doesn't want to feel this way for anyone else. She doesn't trust anyone else with so much of herself. Sure, he makes her strong- he's in danger for one second and in that second she could destroy entire armies in his defense- but perhaps it's in her own defense as well.

As much as he makes her strong he makes her dependent, unnecessarily, foolishly so. They are drug and addict, producer and consumer, mother and unborn child perhaps, but it's a cliche and a false comparison- the love a mother feels for her child is weak and conditional. Jane knows it. She knows.

_She's in children's stories._

Jane's the stuff of legend. Vampire. Bloodsucking creatures of the night. It's the most selfish thing, killing another because somehow you're worth more, you need their blood more than they do. It's barbaric. It's monstrous. Jane knows she's a monster. She knows she's loathed, she knows she's the most disgusting and hellish of creatures, she knows she's a demon, she knows she deserves thousands more eternities in hell than are possible. She's the antagonist. The monster the prince slays for his princess. And that hurts.

But as long as he loves her- just he, because if he hated her she would loathe herself because without him she means nothing, she must admit to that weakness- as long as he loves her she doesn't need anyone else's approval.

_She has a prince to rescue her._

He's not hers, and he's not a prince, and he wouldn't rescue her, that's her own responsibility until he loves her back. But he saved her once and he's been her hero ever since. If he doesn't love her she doesn't love herself, it's that simple. She trusts him, she craves him, he's coedine, morphine, her drug, she needs him, he makes all the agony go away, she doesn't need a mask or a fortress's high wall with him. That's all she wants. She's sick of walls. She's sick of hiding. She's sick of being hated and treated like an object, like a fractured fairy tale.

Is it so wrong to want her happily ever after?

**--**

**...I'm pretty sure this sucked. But I'm not rereading it, I'll make unnecessary changes. I obviously liked it when I wrote it.**


	29. Blush

**Vacation is my excuse. Busy writing in my notebook, having no keyboard, avoiding fights with townies. That kind of stuff.**

**In my fic, anyway, I imagine the Volturi are pretty well-fed. So they can blush. If only for cuteness' sake. **

**Look, a chapter with a setting! That hasn't happened since chapter 26! **

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**Chapter 29: Blush**

**Jane POV **

**--**

She tries not to think anything of it, but she just wants so badly for it to mean something.

He's very ignorant and naive without meaning to be, she knows. Just because he gives you attention and endearments and a reason to live and all, doesn't necessarily mean he loves you in more than a platonic way. It's what she tries to tell herself, keep herself from hoping.

It isn't working.

So she just does what he taught her- she decides that if nothing else, she can avoid acknowledging it for as long as possible. Aro is one for denial; it's not something she would do normally, but to be strong, be a leader or be anything like who he taught her to be, she tries.

For herself, for him.

And Aro is kept mostly oblivious. She gets to see him smile and laugh, happy, every day. That makes her happy. She's happy even though it hurts.

She sees him in the hallway, just walking by, and she can smell his scent from where she is. That combined with the infectious carefree expression he wears almost tugs her lips up into an involuntary grin.

_Don't do it, Jane, all of this will go away._

Because they would sacrifice so much to be together, and she knows she isn't worth quite that much to him. But she doesn't like to think of any of that. She just wants to get drunk on his scent and his smile and feel good now, think later.

He's just about to pass her (it's been four long seconds already?) and she finds she can't look him in the eye. He'll smile or blink or something else fascinating and she'll do something stupid.

She looks away, as if with reason. "Good morning, Master," she says perhaps too casually.

"God morning, dear one!" Aro practically sings and her dormant heart almost beats. Her lips twitch into a smile without her permission and she feels warm all over, like wherever he goes, the sun follows. She gets the smile under control and away before he can see it.

He stops walking. She stops breathing. He's right next to her, why? She glances up tentatively. _Don't let him touch me._

Aro tilts his head slightly with that delighted smile of his, looking a little puzzled, and her heart wants to break or be closer to his. "You're cute when you blush," he informs her, all nonchalant and casual. Because he has no idea of the effect his words have.

She lets out a hysterical giggle.

_Damn it._

**--**

**Ah, Aro, always screwing up Jane's attempts at control of her own self. **

**Sorry for the shortness. And the pointless randomness.**


	30. Isolation

**Another chapter with a setting! **

**--**

**Chapter 30: Isolation**

**Jane POV **

**--**

She walks in, and some of the guard is already there with their masters. They congregate in small groups, discussing various matters, and the ancients sit in their thrones. She thinks everyone is sufficiently distracted.

She is proven wrong by the silence that comes over them all when they see her. They are just inconspicuous whispers, unnecessarily long sideways glances, before they go back to forced conversation.

She sighs.

Aro gives her a regretful look.

There is nothing Jane wants more than to be able to run over and have him hold her close, to kiss him and love him without judgement. But if she does anything more than give him a false smile of reassurance, she will make it even more obvious and the isolation and subtle ridicule will get worse.

The deal was that they keep their _affair_(Jane hates how Caius seems to be so allergic to the word _relationship_in regards to her and Aro) as private as possible. That was the only way to keep enemies from finding out and having something to hold over Aro's head. But now that everyone in the Volturi knows, they all have something to hold over hers.

He smiles slightly back and looks away.

She looks back at the guard. At least three people who had been looking over their shoulders turn back around.

Jane sighs. She suddenly feels how foolish and awkward it is to be standing there alone, as if under a spotlight, like she doesn't belong. She is sort of used to that, or she should be- all her life she's been avoided like the plague, all her life she's been feared. And because someone decided she wasn't vile and soulless they isolate her even more, they try to separate her from her mate.

Afton arrives, doesn't even try to be inconspicuous about kissing Chelsea on the cheek, and goes over to speak with Caius. Caius, who responds to Jane's quietly heartbroken expression with a warning glare.

_It's so unfair._

She feels a hand envelop hers and turns. Of course, there's Alec, sticking with her like he always has. Alec, who's never judged her, even after finding out about her and Aro. He knows she isn't quite enough for her anymore, and she knows that that hurts him. Still he forgives her and hugs her close. "If they're going to shun you, they'll shun me too," he murmurs. She pulls her head away from his shoulder looks into his eyes. He smiles for her, but his eyes are pained. He still hates to see her sad.

But he blames Aro and she insists that he shouldn't. They've never disagreed on anything before. It hurts them both.

She listens to the whispers for just a moment.

"...just wants attention..."

"...can't be in love, she's just a child..."

"The little whore always was his favorite and now..."

She bites her lip. When she looks up, Aro purposely doesn't look in her direction and it stings worse than their words ever could.

What can they do?

**--**

**Meh. Not my favorite. I think I just hate dialogue... Is it better in general when my chapters have it, or does it matter?**


	31. Jack and Jill

**My excuses include a fickle internet connection, writer's block, and the book _Nineteen Eighty-Four._**

**I was thinking of more fairytale metaphors (whatever you would call them), because I love them. And I came up with this. Not very fairytale-y at all as a finished product.**

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**Chapter 31: Jack and Jill**

**Aro's POV**

**--**

_Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water..._

"Do you even realize," she murmurs sadly, "how much you will lose if they discover us?"

Of course he realizes. "That doesn't matter," he insists anyway, knowing she will trust him. The most selfish part of him wants to insist that _yes_, it does matter, everything he's worked for will be vulnerable, how can she think he doesn't realize the danger? Another part of him doesn't want to hurt her, even if making her aware of the danger now could save her later, he doesn't want to sadden her. He just needs her now, he _needs_ her to trust that he values her completely above all else. _(Perhaps that is the more selfish part of him, after all.)_

She moves so that she can look into his eyes, half lying on his chest instead of next to him there on the floor of his study _("Jane, you can't wait a mere five minutes until we can go to your r-- mmf!")_, and he's once again reminded of _(struck by)_ her beauty. "It does matter," she says, and he's once again reminded of just why he loves her so much.

He sighs, pulling her closer to kiss her. "You know I love you, Jane."

_Enough?_ The thought lingers even as she kisses him back, and he's just too used to dodging what he doesn't want to accept. He pretends not to have heard.

_Jack fell down and broke his crown..._

_I'm sorry. _It rings in her thoughts, impact from a hard fall from grace, and he realizes just how hurt and genuinely responsible she feels. It makes him feel unfamiliar guilt. And he resents that.

He doesn't want to be angry at her. He just wants the whole wretched situation to go away, all the unnecessary and preventable obstacles he now has to deal with. Ridicule. Loss of power. Loss of credibility. It was all so avoidable...

But now they know. Alec knows and Sulpicia knows and the guard knows and soon word will spread that _Aro's mate is his young guard that he clearly manipulated out of boredom and obviously doesn't care about at all because she's on the front lines in battle he's just dangling her on her puppet-string right in front of us..._

It's not unbearable, but it is unnecessary. And he's just too used to valuing power over everything to honestly think it was worth it, even if he knows he wouldn't be able to stand losing her, losing those lips and emotions and all the rest.

He insists that he doesn't blame her for anything. She recognizes that lie as well.

_...and Jill went tumbling after._

He's never been used to taking responsibility for his own mistakes. His weaknesses his flaws his emotions his responsibilities his Jane. This time, when it comes time to do so, there is only one person he can use to take the blame off himself.

He doesn't want to blame Jane, in fact, he knows she's enduring her own ridicule worse than his own and it's mostly his fault anyway. But those self-sacrificing thoughts are forgotten sometimes, when he just needs someone to blame the whole thing on.

He makes excuses sometimes, and stupid, meaningless if onlies, if only we had been more careful if only Jane were older if only we hadn't been so foolish, in which he never really gets around to accepting complete blame for anything. When she runs to him late at night, less often now that it's harder for her to get away, he knows she just wants to go back to the way things were before everyone was judging them, better yet before things ever got complicated, they both just wish they could be together, mates, lovers, anything but this. She doesn't want to talk about the horrible situation and neither does he, but for selfish reasons _(of course)_.

He pretends, for her, because he loves her and owes her and her fall was so much harder than his, that she is undeniably worth it. That he would willingly risk anything for her and he doesn't regret anything, wouldn't even think about trading her for what he's lost. That he's never thought of her as a simple addiction.

She doubts him, but this time _(from acceptance or despair?)_ she says nothing.

**--**

**Meh. Ramble, ramble, ramble.**

**Review, maybe? o.0**


End file.
